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By Kathryn Vercillo,
The bad economy is putting a big strain on marriages. Many people want to get divorced. However, now could be the worst time to get a divorce. Not only is divorce expensive but it’s also not smart to make such an important decision during such a tough time in your life. Here is a look at how to hold off on that divorce decision until the economy is looking brighter.
Difficulty: Moderately Challenging
Things You’ll Need:
Open up the lines of communication with your spouse. The most important thing is that you discuss what is going on. State clearly that you are concerned about your marriage but that you don’t want to divorce right now and ask your spouse if he or she is willing to hang in there for a little while with you.
Discuss what you both want from this marriage at this time. This is the starting ground for making a plan to stay together. Be willing to compromise on what you want in order to keep the marriage lasting through the tough times.
Commit to a specific amount of time during which you will both work on the marriage. Delay any discussion about divorce until after that time. One year is a good length of time to give your marriage a chance as well as to see if the economy changes a bit.
Set common financial goals to strengthen your relationship and your finances at the same time. Goals related to frugal living, saving for a big gift for your children or learning to use finance software together can bring you closer while helping out with money. Don’t work on goals that require you to be together forever (for example, don’t save towards an anniversary trip) but rather goals that will benefit you both individually even if a divorce does eventually take place.
Stop fighting about the little things. Once you’ve decided to stay together, make it as pleasant as possible. Stop nagging and fighting about the little things. In times of stress, we often take our stress out on those closest to us but this damages relationships. Learn other outlets for your stress and simply stop fighting. There’s just no point anymore.
Work on understanding the stres that your spouse feels. When he or she does nag or take things out on you, try to understand that it’s coming from a place of stress. This doesn’t mean that you need to put up with it but it allows you to approach asking for change in a constructive way instead of getting defensive and fighting back.
Take time apart. A relationship needs time to breathe particularly during stressful times. Make sure that you’re both hanging out with friends, taking walks alone and doing things that you enjoy separately.
Revive some romance if at all possible. Getting through this rough economic time is a lot easier if you have happy moments in the middle of it. If there’s any chance of romance left between the two of you, now is the time to turn up the flame on that burner!