By Neil Rosenthal
Forgiveness is a choice, it is not an emotion. You are not going to feel like it, but you can do it. Apparently, nobody is born with a lot of talent for forgiving.
If you do not forgive those who have hurt you, you will have a very hard time trusting other people, and that will adversely affect every other important relationship in your life.
When you do forgive, you are taking away the emotional power the person or events have on you. It is an act of self kindness; it releases you from your pain, anguish and negativity.
We would like our angry and hurt emotions to go away by themselves, but they don’t. Learning to forgive, therefore, gives us peace of mind. It has nothing to do with the other person, as odd as that seems. It is about your willingness to let go of your resentment and not hang on to your grievances.
If possible, don’t forgive someone until you can let them know how much pain the whole experience has caused you. Forgiving someone too quickly only covers up your hurt and bitterness, and is therefore really pseudo-forgiveness. It isn’t wise to do, because it keeps you stuck in your grievances, rather than freeing you from
the pain. Permit your hurt and anger out first, and then forgive. Otherwise your gesture will be inauthentic and empty.
“The last thing people give up is their suffering.”