In the past 30 years, taboos have relaxed about what is acceptable for a woman to express about her inner life. Not so with men. Men have resisted their grief because it has made them feel fragile, unstable, and out of control. They have feared that their symptoms were pathological, when, indeed, they are to be expected. If men bury their grief, it will only overwhelm them at another time. Role expectations therefore complicate a man’s behavioral response to grief in a way not generally experienced by women.
Bereavement experts have, therefore, suggested to me that a divorced man can be reassured that he is not different from other men, and yet is recognizable as himself, if he understands the stages of bereavement. Once he accepts the fact that grief is a normal emotional response to the irretrievable loss of another person, he may gain insight into the range of emotions he is feeling and find solace in knowing that others have been where he is.
Are you grieving? Take the Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale at www.DivorceSeminarCenter.com