How to be happy after divorce

Take the Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale now at It’s free for a limited time.

  1. Realize you are not to blame for the outcome of the marriage. There are two people involved and it takes both to make a happy life.
  2. Make happiness your primary concern no matter who is to blame. You are not the first person to be divorced and will not be the last.
  3. Look for your goal in life, find out how to get it. Go forward and do the things you have always wanted to do.
  4. Join an active Support Group if you think you need it.
  5. Understand that you are a person in your own right, and that by learning, and reading, you can make your own decisions.
  6. Look forward to the future. Do not think that you have to be married, to be happy. Remember, you now are ready to do whatever it is in life that you want to. You are no longer on a time schedule to meet your partners needs, and you do not have to ask anyone permission to do anything. Best of all, you do not have loads of dirty wash.
  7. Accept that you are divorced!. Join groups if that’s what you want to do. Read a book on the park bench, go to a movie, or just watch the soaps on TV.


  • Self help groups are listed in newspapers. Look for them. (Or visit for information on Dr. Bruce Fisher’s 10-week seminar.)
  • Look to find a college near you, and take a course.
  • If you always wanted to get a college degree, it is not to late. Go for it.
  • Travel if you can afford it.
  • Tour a museum, take in a live show, write a book.
  • If home is feeling empty and strange you can re-arrange the furniture, swap rooms, paint walls that color you always wanted. Buy frilly everything or go with the bachelor theme depending on your sex. The house will seem newer, you’ll feel accomplished and it won’t look like someone just moved out.
  • Clear out any abandoned items or property. If they don’t want it, don’t throw it out, have a yard sale, sell it on Ebay and buy yourself something nice with the profits to spruce up your newly single wardrobe or home.
  • Cut the ties that bind you and your ex. It may be hard but making new friends of your own can be a great experience. You can be introduced into totally new circles of friends. Don’t feel like you have to compete for your old friends with your ex. Let them pick sides, you don’t need them anyway. Best of all, your ex isn’t likely to show up at their BBQ or holiday party.
  • Get new friends. Just being around people that you don’t associate with your ex or divorce is healthy. They weren’t around for the baggage and it will be a fresh new start. Get more than one.
  • Go visit those relatives your ex didn’t like or go to that place you could never get your ex to vacation.
  • Try not to dwell on the negative and don’t spend time around those people that bring you down emotionally. Avoid emotional vampires. This may mean you have to avoid or ditch old friends or even step away from certain family members until some time has passed and everyone has something else to talk about.
  • You’ll eventually hear that your ex has moved on. You should too. This doesn’t mean that you need to jump on the dating bandwagon before you are ready but you should feel free to go out with friends. If you want to start dating, go for it, you’ll feel better.
  • Do whatever you can to eliminate the anger, hurt or negative emotions left by your ex. Don’t dwell on the fact they cheated or were untrustworthy. Don’t be a victim. Move on, get over it and don’t let every conversation you have be about your ex and all of his wrongs. Pick your chin up, stop wallowing, stop wasting your energy on something you can’t change, smile and go forward. That will really annoy them!
  • Don’t be afraid to “fire” a friend. If they make you feel awful, they bring you down. they dwell on your experience and you can’t be happy around them…fire them. Just like you would fire someone from a job. Move on and surround yourself with friends that make you feel better not worse.


  • Be careful when meeting new people. Some would like to take advantage of you. Some might want to exploit you. Most people however are really nice, so do not mistrust everyone. Just be careful, and do not lend money to anyone you do not know.
  • Being insanely happy will drive your ex nuts. Especially if they are manipulating or treated you poorly.
  • Take the high road at all times and you will feel much better in the end. Taking drastic measures towards your ex could cause legal issues.
  • Make sure you are clear to dispose of any abandoned property before selling it or donating it. Be courteous and don’t throw away family heirlooms or something valuable that he/she obviously left behind by mistake.
  • Making hasty decisions about family photographs may be regretted years down the road. Although you or your spouse may not want old wedding or family photos, your kids will appreciate it if you save those. Stick them in the attic or go ahead and give them to your kids if they are old enough.

Find out if you’re really on the road to happiness after your divorce. Take the Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale at




  1. Posted February 5, 2008 at 10:08 am | Permalink

    I love these suggestions. They are right on target!

    I would also recommend Debbie Fords book and videos. They helped me through some really tough times.

    All my best to you and your readers,

  2. Posted February 5, 2008 at 1:18 pm | Permalink

    Those are great suggestions. It is great to be able to help those going through one of the most turbulent times of their life. I work for, it is an online community for women navigating through the various stages of divorce. Tips for successfully transitioning through divorce are very important for those whom don’t know where to begin.

    Just my two cents
    Ann Marie

  3. Posted February 14, 2008 at 11:49 pm | Permalink

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  4. Posted March 19, 2008 at 9:33 am | Permalink

    NY Times ran an article titled,“ Mothers Scrimp as State Takes Child Support.” It caught my attention because child support is a topic I write about in my book. But you may have skipped it, or not seen at it at all. Why? Because you have to connect with something on an emotional level first in order to express further interest. What you define as a“ must read” may have more to do with your career, your…

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